this entry is written to commemorate the second season of lost which start today on AXN (Astro's channel 17), and of my own life, which suddenly i feel so lost within...

as for the series lost i don't know why, but i laughed at some of the scenes, err it is getting bit tad ridiculous huh? i didn't watch lost on its debut, i juz recently watched it because it was aired daily over AXN at 6pm, very convenient, plus i kept the anxiety well pumped up, as i watched it daily, not like weekly, we tend to forget the suprises, and the feels, etc etc...

the first season, was really mysterious, especially when the unknown looming in the background, unidentified. but, upon seeing a freeking group of people with strange weapons in their hand, on today's episode, i guess, the mysterious attraction was... gone. anyway, giving credit to the producer n creator of the series, i guess i shall watch some more episode, hoping that the 'freako' appearing at the end of this season premier tonight, was only the beginning for more suspense!

why commemorate such non-event? well, it is due to me feeling lost myself today. not really today, but recently. i want to remember this. me, as a person, how bad things goes, i know, things happened for a reason. i always thank Allah for all His blessing, and the blessing-in-disguise as well.

but, what i regret, just recently, i lost faith in people. in those surrounding me. aku jauh hati sangat dengan semua. i think, now, i can truly understand sudirman's merisik khabar. all i want is love. i admit that i made some huge mistake, which involve my own life, other's as well, and more disturbingly, it involved money. baru aku terasa, masa senang semua sayang, masa susah, semua... they started to judge you, like they never do any mistake in their life, sedangkan, all i need to cope with this experience is support, telling me, 'come on, girl, stand up, and be confident of urself, you are one special girl. you can face all this turbulances...' but all i got were blames... blames... and more blames...

i am going to start anew. and i've changed. i guess, i do, there's some soft part of my heart, which had gone smaller, day by day. just last two days, on the bus, someone asked for small change, and me, disturbingly suprising, tell her to her face that i don't have any small change. without even peeking in my purse. well, i happened to know that i've used most of my coins, but previously, i would at least be kind enough to give some spare change... i've changed.